[x] Jessie's Blog [x]

To Boddah:

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community had proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example, when we’re backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy,

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!

- Kurt Cobain

Subcultures within punk

The punk subculture is made up of a diverse assortment of subgroups that distinguish themselves from one another through different attitudes, music, and clothing styles. Some of these groups are antagonistic towards one another, and there is widespread disagreement within punk whether or not some are even part of the larger subculture. An individual punk may identify with several of these factions, or none in particular.

Subcultures influenced by punk

Several subcultures started out closely related to the punk subculture but broke away, becoming distinct and separate cultures. Some of these groups have retained friendly and cooperative relations with punks, but others have developed a feeling of mutual animosity.

What's a Swastika, people?

"The word "swastika" comes from the Sanskrit svastika - "su" meaning "good," "asti" meaning "to be," and "ka" as a suffix.

Until the Nazis used this symbol, the swastika was used by many cultures throughout the past 3,000 years to represent life, sun, power, strength, and good luck.

 In 1920, Adolf Hitler decided that the Nazi Party needed its own insignia and flag. For Hitler, the new flag had to be "a symbol of our own struggle" as well as "highly effective as a poster."

There is a great debate as to what the swastika means now. For 3,000 years, the swastika meant life and good luck. But because of the Nazis, it has also taken on a meaning of death and hate."

I know it's not a good thing to mention, well, even the bad shit can be alright to talk about, but arghhh, this subject is a touchy one, isn't it?

It's creepy and actually makes me sick when thinking about what the sign relates to. But I have to admitt, I do joke about it with my friends. Like, the name, just the pronounsation of the it. Example:

Jess: Swastika! Swastika!

Aarron: Swastika my mastika! You nastika piece of shastika!

Jess: LMAOASTIKA! :D

Ermmmm... Yeah... :\ XD

*Yeah, don't post a reply unless you wonna talk seriously about Swastika. Or joke about it even, like me and my friends did. XD*   OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING. FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY SWASTIKA JOKES. ;) :D

Smell ya laters. Spastika's. ;)

Peace, Love, Empathy,

Jessie Cobain.

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